As a real estate broker I am too often witness to families going back "because the children did not adjust."

While this is the official excuse, it is often not the real reason. The best advice I can give to people making aliya with children is the following: Do not assume that because you know why you are making aliya and are highly motivated to succeed, that your children feel the same. It is very traumatic for children to leave home, grandparents, cousins, friends and school. They must be prepared very carefully for Aliya so that they, too, will become motivated to succeed.

Never tell a child that if they do not adjust they can return to their country of origin. That is a recipe for failure since the child will naturally want to return to his friends and former school. The child must know that his former home was sold (no home to go back to), and that there is no turning back. The bridge was burned, so to speak, but, with air travel so cheap today, visits back and forth are definitely possible. They need that reassurance of being able to visit their old friends and family.

On the assumption that your children know some Hebrew from Day School and camp, I still recommend that you come as early as possible before the school year begins, so that the child can pick up as much spoken Hebrew as possible before beginning studies. Try to find a school which will give the child special attention: tutoring, special Hebrew classes. If you can find a summer ulpan for children, send them there. Take a tutor for the first couple of months after school starts, who will assist the children with homework and help them adjust. No matter what it costs, do it. In all likelihood, you will not be able to help the child with his homework because of the different terminology and methods of teaching that we are not privy to. This is particularly true for mathematics, but is equally so for other subjects. Choose your children's schools very carefully. Not all schools are equal.

Bring as many of the children's favorite toys, dolls, books, pictures and furniture as possible. The familiar and loved items will give them a sense of well-being. If you must leave things behind, ask the child to choose what he wants to bring to Israel and which he does not mind leaving behind.

When you move in to your new home invite neighborhood children or children from school to a party (make up an excuse for a party if you have no real reason to make a party). Your child will have instant friends and will not be lonely. Alternatively, ask a neighbor who has a child your own child's age to send her child to your home to play, so that your child does not have a chance to brood alone at home. Friends are very important in helping a child to adjust. Alternatively, ask the neighbor to invite your child to her home to play with her children. Games or toys break the ice.

Try to move into a mixed neighborhood, not an English-speaking ghetto. If the children have only English-speaking friends they will not learn Hebrew quickly enough. They might have more trouble in school, as a result.

Never give up. One day your children will thank you for bringing them to Israel and giving them the privilege of living here.